lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
These tits shall not be calmed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
