You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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