pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
