I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
