: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
