My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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