What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
