so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
