she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
