the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
