dude i'm inner monologue high
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
