you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
