Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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