She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
