it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
