Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
