summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The best revenge is premature balding
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
