if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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