I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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