I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
