We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
