idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
