So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Non-Jews are for practice
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
