I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Boobs speak an international language.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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