The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
