Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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