There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
