Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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