Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
