Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
