I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
