Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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