My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
