He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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