how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
