I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
