What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
