Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
