You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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