with your own penis?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
