i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
