It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
