Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We left an ass print on the piano.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
