His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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