i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
