Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
