My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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