i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
