There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
