why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
