For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
