At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
where am i from again
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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