He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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