That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
